Monday, December 7, 2009


90's inspired metal band with hip hop elements, probably Biohazard is big influence. This quote from my co-worker Sean.

Saturday, November 21, 2009


literal translation: Christ Time!

Monday, August 31, 2009


how is this not a band name??

total METAL!

Crane Crash

inspired by a drunken conversation, where I meant to say plane crash.


babe-alicious metal band!!


all girl straight-edge band, spelled eXecutriX

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Louis LePrince

Well, not a band name, but a name for a guy in a band. This is a pretty solid rock n roll name, if I do say so myself.
I've borrowed this name from the inventor of moving pictures in 1888. He mysteriously vanished on a train and his body & luggage were never found.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Fuck Buddies

My lady friends hate these words together, but I love em. Sure, sure, there are too many bands already with the dreaded F bomb in their name (Fucked Up, Fuck Buttons, etc) but what's one more. I'm thinking of this as a danceable band. Perhaps they could wear t-shirts that said For a Good Time Call and then have each band mate's real phone number.

Low Sleaze

Inspired by my reinterpretation of my friend Greg's summer look. This is the dictionary definition of "smarmy".
So, this band would consist of a bunch of skinny dudes who haven't shaved all week, wearing white v-neck t-shirts tucked into white stonewashed tight jeans with cut-up knees. They would play noisy stuff in warehouse venues and if you didn't like em you could just fuck off.

Monday, July 13, 2009

False Owls

good name. i like this one a lot. it would obviously be for some hipster band (oh well).

Exhibit A: a false owl

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The Bone Wars

boring indie rock. you'd get excited because the name's really cool, and you shell out 13 bucks because, shit, the cover's cool too and pitchfork gave it an 7.6, but then you give it a listen and realize that all this crap sounds exactly the same: mediocre.

p.s. you should read about the REAL Bone Wars on wikipedia, it's a fascinating story.

Dead Birds

this band would be serious and dark and hopefully remind you of piles of dead birds. we'd aspire to sound like Neurosis, but come up embarrassingly short.

c.c.'s beauty mark

this would be a super fun, high energy throw back to poppy hair metal bands.
all songs about: screwing models, destroying hotel rooms, coked up strip club escapades, and one sad ballad about the one that got away....

Friday, May 22, 2009

Baby Graves

This would definitely be my all female black metal band, complete with organ and sometimes a cello. But this wouldn't be that pussy black metal, this is the real thing. In the vein of Mayhem, and out of grief and outrage, we burn down all the Babys R Us's in Sweden.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Horror Vacui

The fear of blank or empty spaces.

rather than go for the obvious and make this my imaginary dark punk or metal band, this would be my so-pretty-it's-creepy project. me and a guitar, a cute boy on a synth and a drummer with one snare, one symbol, a triangle and chimes. the music would be weird, but my voice would be high and clear and beautiful.

Letters of Transit

this is my douchey emo band.
name thanks to Casablanca.
we sing about lost love and faraway places.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Life Coach

Panic Prevention

Brain Waves

total garage rock.
I'm on the tambourine.

Fonetik Alfabet


Good Senses and Instincts

more later

Work Horse

more later

The First Rescue Party

firstly, i thought this could be an indie group with an old timey flair, sort of like the Arcade Fire. And we could have a revolving door of different musicians and we'd be a merry band of 8-15 people.

then i thought... wait a minute, Rescue ParTAY!
now we're a dance band.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Satan's Teeth

got this from the movie Curse of the Devil.
ideally this would be a 50's horror influenced punk band, but the Misfits did that already and no one can top them so don't bother (A.F.I. I'm talking to you!).

that being said, no girl bands have done it and since I'm a girl and this is MY imaginary band, Satan's Teeth would be a 50's horror influenced punk band with a chick singer. so there.

Neither a Bee Nor an Ant

i don't think it quite qualifies as a band name, but this is a description of a wasp and it's really fun to say.
if you say it enough, it sounds almost like music or like an old adage.

perhaps it could work as a name of a husband & wife band, like Mates of State...

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


As in, a woman who wields an axe.
i don't think it's a real word, i just made it up and it sounds fucking cool.

alternate name: Axess of Evil

this would be for a metal band, duh.

Glass Cutter

this would be my solo electronic project

Crystal Slippers

I know, I know, there are already too many bands with that start with crystal... but it IS a really good word. and there's really something satisfying about saying 'crystal slippers'... go on, try it.

Dry Spell

this would be my 70's psychedelic band.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Monday, April 13, 2009

Independent Contractor

post punk with a political edge - think Gang of Four and Fugazi.

Chickee Baby

This is my French pop nom de plume.

Sunday, April 12, 2009


how is this not already a band name??
damn, this shit is gold.

Bird Flu

that's a sick name.

Mauled by Bears

my imaginary grindcore band.


n'uff said.

Welfare Island

"This abandoned Renwick Smallpox Hospital is on Roosevelt Island in Manhattan and is 155 years old. This was a place built to care for New York City's unfortunate and destitute. The island sits between Queens and Manhattan, and was easily accessible by ferry; it was home to a prison, insane asylum, and other similar facilities. The remote location made this a prime location for the care of victims of smallpox, although both charity cases and paying patrons were admitted.

As of 1872, an annual number of 7,000 patients were treated, with an average of 450 deaths, but was emptied of patients in 1886. The island was renamed Welfare Island in 1921, and in the 1950s many of the institutions on the island became obsolete and were abandoned.

Welfare Island was renamed once again to Roosevelt Island in 1973, and during this time Renwick fell into ruin quickly even though it was deemed a historic landmark worthy of preserving."

thanks to Jamie for this info!

This would be an awesome band name for any kind of band, but I'm going to have to go ahead and name my imaginary indie rock band Welfare Island. We're a 3-piece with a girl (me) on drums. We're from Brooklyn, duh.

Yellow Belly

The Yellow Bellies
The Yella' Bellies

This is the name of my imaginary alt-country, alt-bluegrass rock band. Think Avett Brothers or Deer Tick.

Johan the Mad

William Mortensen, Johan the Mad
"By her crazy tragic journey through the kingdoms of Europe, bearing with her the corpse of her beloved husband, she has come to be a symbol and prototype of the tortured quest for something irrevocably lost." -- Mortensen

absolutely gorgeous.
this would be for my lush, quiet/loud band. Think Mogwai, but with some soft, desperate, insane vocals on some tracks.


If I only had a band where I had this amazing low, crazy, guttural voice and I sang over noisy, clanging guitars and a slow, sludgy bass and drums, this would be it's name.

also, think of it...


lydia lunch and nick cave

Poor Sport

If I only had a band composed of skinny white boys that played post punk or math rock, this would be their name.